I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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