Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
