Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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