You smell like a Billy Joel song
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
