Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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