Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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