True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
