You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
