dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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