i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
