I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
