Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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