idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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