That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
