she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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