Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So many bounce houses so little time
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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