dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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