I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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