chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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