I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
