I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
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she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
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A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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