its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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