nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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