christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
