what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
