Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
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Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
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He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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