just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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