there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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