I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
