marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
