Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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