Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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