Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
