I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
