just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
