i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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