No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
How naked do you want me to be?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
