Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
