Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
