i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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