my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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