real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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