He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
