Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
