it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
