Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
