i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
