After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
