I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
