God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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