I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
We need to rekindle our bromance
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
