Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
