Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
