Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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