Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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