I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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