btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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