Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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