i think my mom watched the whole time
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I came so hard my ears popped.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize