Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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