ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
