I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
