I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
