Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
